Not All Harrassment at Work Is Illegal, So What Do You Do to Cope?

Imagine the following scenario:

Your boss is in the running for Micromanager of the Year, and has just suffered the indignity of watching several of her former employees pass her by and be promoted. One is now her own boss. Since she’s never been openly challenged concerning her own behavior, Boss has never been forced to develop a thoughtful response to this unexpected turn of events. The message she’s just been handed is too subtle.  So she does what comes naturally, and continues to be critical, negative and small-minded toward her few remaining employees. She spends hours isolating herself in her office,  going over their work with a microscope and emerging only to point out their mistakes in excruciating detail.

Or consider a second example: Each and every day, a manager’s direct reports are expected to meet with her,  go over their list of projects,  and endure a litany of criticisms on completed work with little or no positive feedback or encouragement. She researches company data,  and puts them on the spot by asking questions she already knows the answer to.  When they hazard a guess, she pounces on them for not knowing the answer.  She prescribes not only how to do their work, but how to do a proper personal  “to do” list:  date, number of entries, etc.  When employees are sick or on vacation, she calls them at home with insignificant questions.  She considers herself to be the smartest person in the place and daily lets them know that they can never possibly measure up to her standards.

These abusive bosses tend to cleverly disguise their tactics. Thanks are never private one-to-one expressions of gratitude; instead, the employee is thanked only in front of the boss’s own superiors so that she appears to be doing the right thing.

Unfortunately, many people have had the misfortune of working for bosses like these.  Most  sense that these behaviors are inappropriate and would call them bullying or harassment.  And most of the time, employees quit in order to leave a particular manager more than the organization itself.

Savvy companies know that employee satisfaction is a key to reducing turnover, but many will only address situations like the above if the boss’s conduct is illegal.  Unfortunately, at this point it is not against the law to be a bully at work, at least not in the U.S.  While sexual harassment, wage and hour violations, or discrimination based on categories such as race or religion are seen as ticking time bombs because the cost of litigation is potentially very high, employers know it is much harder to prevail in a lawsuit based on being the target of bullying.  If the manager is contributing something else valuable or hard to replace, the victim is usually considered more expendable than the perpetrator. The victim will often be painted as the cause of the problem.

Unfortunately, this can and does lead to bottled-up rage, anxiety, depression, sleep problems, or substance abuse. In situations like these, there are only a few possible responses for the target: retaliate, say nothing and become a doormat, quit immediately, or find a middle way using coping skills of various kinds.

The legal landscape is trending toward making work place bullying illegal, but we are on the slow train. In the meantime, please be watchful if you work in this kind of environment. You could save someone’s life, health or livelihood.