I find it very odd but amusing that the Universe arranges things the way it does. Case in point: This blog was born out of my felt need for a voice at work, and since that time I have seen that I may never have one that is acknowledged by colleagues there who are actually listening. However, the struggle to define and shape that voice has led me to fix my gaze elsewhere- on people outside the organization, who may be much more receptive and who need to hear what I have to say.
In the last six months I have discovered that my inner voice was almost drowned out. The louder voices were there only because I internalized what they were saying; e.g., “you are too small to have anything to say, and you are valuable to us only if you produce enough widgets to please us”. I have seen that clearly now and have decided to ignore what they are saying. My own voice is and always will be True North.
From now on I am standing for a brand new possibility. I am creating space in my life for compassionate provocation- of myself, other individuals and groups- toward excellence. This necessarily implies inclusion and respect. What other values should be incorporated? I would love to hear from you.
Posted by LaurieR on 04/01/2011 at 10:47 am
Hi Moira, thanks for finding me on LinkedIn and commenting at my blog. It’s nice to meet you here virtually. Congratulations on creating this blog! It sounds like it is serving you as a place to find and claim your voice. What a courageous act!
I am inspired by your exploration and the awareness that you are creating sacred space to listen to your inner voice. What helps you do that? How can you tell the difference between your own voice, your inner critic or judge, and the external voices that surround you?
When you wrote: “I may never have one [a voice at work] that is acknowledged by colleagues there who are actually listening” … I wondered where are the people who want to hear what you have to say? Who want to join you in dialogue? What do you want to talk about?
I love the hope and the forward momentum in your last paragraph. What brand new possibilities are you feeling called to create? And who and what do you want to compassionately provoke? What’s important about that to you? It all sounds so exciting! Looking forward to the evolution. — Laurie
You don’t have to answer any of these questions unless they move you, and you don’t have to doit hetre
Posted by paragonsofpurpose on 04/02/2011 at 3:23 pm
Thanks for commenting, Laurie. As far as creating sacred space to listen, the blog is really my main tool and that’s why I created it. But, without a community of readers who comment and reflect back to me, it is tough- as you seem to say implicitly- to tell the authentic from the junk noise other voices are adding. Comments are therefore very valuable to me- so thanks again!
Fortunately, the Inner Critic seems to be pretty silent. I guess that blessing has come over a long period of dealing with people who face tough challenges and don’t have a lot in the way of resources; I can usually tell if I’m starting to be too harsh with myself because I’ve practiced a lot with them.
I do have hope that I’ll be able to play a role as a Compassionate Provocateur in some other group or organization. That requires having credibility and building trust. My current position is a very poor fit for me, and that has long since destroyed the possibility of such a role there. I’ve been trying to find somewhere else to fit in for several years without success, but I haven’t given up.
Please keep in touch.